Mental Illness

To everyone who says that "mental illness aren't that serious and you shouldn't miss school, because you're probably making it up anyways"

Have you ever sat in your room shaking and staring with blurred vision at the textbooks that lie on your bed?

Have you ever felt yourself gasping for air when your math teacher tells you to answer a question on the board?

Have you ever etched words of your English assignment on your skin instead of paper?

Have you ever thought about ending it all because you have three overdue assignments plus two from tonight?

Tell the woman sitting on the brown leather couch that holds a pen in hand and has watched me pull on my hair when I begin to talk about school, how much more important English class is.

Tell the paramedics that are on a first name basis with me.

Tell my teacher who are now trained to keep an eye on one of my classmates because they're afraid he might stab himself in neck with pencil if they give her too much homework.

I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me I'm faking it.

Pull up my sleeves and look at my mutilated skin and tell me I'm only doing it for attention, even though the only people who know I do this is myself are my best friend and the doctor who had to stitch up my wrists.

Tell me.

No, you know what?

Tell your sister to stop bleeding because she's getting blood all over her history report.

Tell your cousin, that a C isn't a reason to act like a fish out if water.

Tell your best friend as she they pull her out of school in a gurney to that she should get over it, and as the ambulance starts driving to the hospital don't forget to remind her to study for her biology final.

I dare you to watch me during school, pull up my sleeves, look me in the eye and tell me that school is more important than my sanity.

Worst thing to say to a person with a Mental Illness - "We Create Our Own Reality"

We create our own reality. This is one of my most hated sentences in the English language. This sentences screams of the middle-class-real-problemless-spoiled-rich-person. Yes, undoubtedly people who have home and families and health and happiness can make their own reality. They can fix the issues they have like leaky pipes, and not to be upset when the paperboy misses their front porch. I have no doubt this is possible.

But give me a fucking break.

People Do Not Create Their Own Reality.

People born into generations of poverty, not so much creating their own reality. People born with fetal alcohol syndrome, not so much creating their reality. People dying of starvation, not so much creating their own reality.

And sick people, not really capable of creating their own reality.

This is the Worst Thing to Say to Someone Sick

People with cancer, people with seizures, people with no legs, people with a mental illness - these people don't get to pick - pr create - their realities.

Okay, so you're saying to me, "but you can always change how you look at life."

See, again, I'm going to have to say, give me a fucking break.

There is Only So Great a Life in Pain Can Look

Change how you look at your life? Um. Sort of. Cancer person still dies, person with seizures still has seizures, paraplegics still have no legs, and people with a mental illness still have a sick brain. We're still fucked. We're still in pain. There is no pleasant spin you can put on wanting to kill yourself all day.

And in closing, I would just like to say, I dare anyone tell a starving child in Africa that they are making their own reality and they would change it if they wanted too. I fucking dare you. Because that's what you're telling me every time you say my brain isn't sick. And I can tell you, it's the worst damn thing to say.