Infinite Playlist: TAYLOR//

It's not a secret that Taylor Swift has probably read our diaries. She's in every teenage girl's playlist. She gets a lot of hate because "she can't sing live". For me, she might not be the most powerful vocalist around but MAN, can she write songs! I thought I'd make a Taylor Swift playlist today since her new album, 1989, is out already. Here are some of my favorite songs from 1989 and her old albums:

• Out of the Woods •

• Style •

• Wildest Dreams •

• This Love •

• I know Places •

• New Romantics •

• You are in love •

• Come Back, Be Here •
• All Too Well •
• Ours •

• White Horse •
• Tim McGraw •

• Sparks Fly •

• BACK TO DECEMBER •
• This is really happening •

• If This Was A Movie •

• Begin Again •

• Enchanted •

• Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran) •

• Superstar •

• I Almost Do •

• Better Than Revenge •

• State Of Grace •

• Last Kiss •

• State Of Grace •

AND BASICALLY ALL OF HER SONGS.

If you're going to buy (or illegally download) her album RED, make sure you get the digital booklet, too. If you don't already know. She has (not so) secret messages in the lyrics. She randomly capitalizes some letters throughout the song and when you put it all together, it spells out a name, a quote or a place. It's the best part of her album, honestly. Her music videos are A+.

My favorite secret message would be the one from State Of Grace which is, "LOVE YOU DOESN'T COUNT AFTER GOODBYE." And the sweetest one would be the secret message in Back To December which is, "TAY." (Taylor Lautner) :">

She wrote the theme song of all the girls which is, You Belong With Me! Admit it, at one point in your life you had that moment in your room where you just dress up, look at the mirror, turn up this song and sing so loudly into your hairbrush like it's a microphone. (I still do that, no shame.) You probably have stayed up till 2am, staring at the ceiling, listening to Taylor Swift songs, making music videos / impossible scenarios in your head (if you're a girl, of course). If not, you may be a robot.

Superstar! Every girl's song to their celebrity crush. 

(*cough cough* one direction, justin bieber, logan lerman, etc, etc, etc.)

This is really Happening is an unreleased song. It's one of the most beautiful ones I've ever heard. (Listen it here!)

I would explain why I love all these songs but you probably know that's because I could relate to them. 

What's your favorite taylor swift song and why?

Love love love!

- N xx

PS: Check out (click here) of Taylor Swift performing Back To December when Taylor Lautner was watching (Staples Center, August 2011). She changed the lyrics in the end. Makes me cry everytime. They should've videotaped Taylor Lautner's reaction! Enjoy drowning in your own puddle of tears.

Walang Forever?!

Hindi ko 'to sinasabi dahil bitter ako. May mga bagay na napagsasawaan na. Yung dating gustong-gusto mong gawin, ngayon 'di mo na ginagawa. Yung porma mo dati, iba na porma mo ngayon. Yung dati mong ginagamit, nakatambak nalang ngayon. Yung trabaho mo, pwede pa magbago. Ang mga artista, nalalaos din. Ang ugali, nagbabago din. Ang pagtingin, nagbabago. Yung mga nasa relasyon, nagbrebreak din, nagdidivorce. Kahit nakamit mo na ang sinasabi ng lahat na true love, pag namatay kayo maghihiwalay din kayo. Kahit ang mga kaibigan, nagkakawatak watak din, nagkakaroon ng sariling buhay.

Ano point ko? Lahat ng bagay may hangganan. Walang permanente sa mundo na 'to na kahit itong buhay natin hindi permanente. Ganun lang naman kasimple ang aking pananaw kaya 'di ako naniniwala sa forever. Ang literal ba masyado? 'Yun naman kasi ang katotohanan.

Kung ikaw ay naniniwala sa forever parang niloloko mo lang din ang sarili mo. Katumbas lang din 'to sa mag boyfriend/girlfriend na sinasabing "walang iwanan, tayo lang forever." tas magbrebreak lang din pala. Niloloko ninyo lang ang isa't isa kahit gaano man katagal ang relasyon ninyo, maghihiwalay din kayo niyan.

Ang salitang forever ay nagpapaasa lang ng tao. Pinapaasa lang nito ang isang tao na maging dependent sa isang bagay na 'yun akala nila mapanghahawakan nila pang habang buhay at 'pag nasira na ang lahat, wala na, wasak na din sila.

Mukha bang may hugot? Ewan. Wala pa naman nagsasabi sa akin na andito siya sa tabi ko forever at bigla ako iniwan. Sa totoo lang, hindi pa naman ako nabibigo ng forever na 'yan. Sadyang ganito lang talaga ang tingin ko.

Pero nagbago lahat ng aking pananaw ng may nakapagsabi sa akin na may forever daw. PAANO?! May mga nagsasabi na may forever daw at mahahanap natin 'to kay God. True, may tama nga naman dahil ang pagmamahal ng Diyos ay eternal at everlasting. Ang eternal life na kaya niya ibigay sayo, 'dun palang ramdam mo na ang forever niya. Pagikot-ikotin man ang mundo, iwanan ka man ng nga taong malapit sayo, andyan parin Siya para sayo. Hindi ka iiwan kahit ano mangyare. Permanenteng naggagabay at minamahal ka.

So, may forever nga ba? Kung literally ang usapan, walang forever. Ngunit kung sasabihin mong specifically? Oo, may forever nga at kay God mo lang 'yun mahahanap at mararamdaman.

- N xx

I lie about you,

I lie to myself about you; Between the day and night I lose sleep and give up on dreaming so I can imagine you calling my name and touching my hands. Between writing and reading poetry, I start with your first name and sign them with your last name. Then I lie one more time and tell everybody that I do not write or read about you. Between caging my butterflies in my stomach and feeling the adrenalin through my veins, I crave the emotions you create in my hideous heart. Between avoiding, talking to my friends about you and asking your friends about me, I want to keep you a secret. My name starts by sliding your throat and it continues by choking you. And you will remember why you could not pronounce my name when you first met me. It was a name you never met before; I was a girl you never met before. I lie about you a lot, and I know you are not much of a liar but you are my lie. And between everything we are and not going to be, we are beautiful lies to those who do not understand. And when she will ask you about me, tell her about that night in the November. Tell her about the empty streets at 2.am we walked on and talked about how mean love can be. And we swore we will never fall in love. Tell her about the way you crawled into my heart through my burning veins that night. How in that moment you were willing to strip your soul but you hesitated so I gave you up for the full moon. And when she will ask you more about me, tell her who I was. The writer of madness. Tell her how I wrote poetry about you and that she will never be capable of re-writing them because she doesn’t have the magic ingredient: insanity. And she will buy my book and scream my name. And when she wakes up in the middle of the night asking you about me, tell her about our midnight conversations. Tell her about all the secrets you’ve told me, and how i saved them in my poems. Tell her how much you hate being lonely and how we used each other so very selfishly. Tell her that you could not sleep at night without kissing me goodnight. Tell her you haunted me in my dreams. And in the morning when she will ask you why you don’t like coffee, tell her that is every writer’s drug. Tell her that you don’t trust writers anymore cause they tend to talk and write too much about you. Tell her to stop reading my poetry because you are a different person now that what I am writing about. Tell her you didn’t pick up my book from the trash when she threw it out. And when she will ask you about me for the last time, tell her that I didn’t change you even though I did. Tell her that I destroyed you so beautifully you can’t even remember my name. Tell her how angry I made you and how bad I made you feel. Tell her how my heart set you on fire and how I enjoyed watching you burn. Tell her how you lied to me. How you told me you didn’t love me but your eyes busted you. How cold hearted you were with me but how your warm hands danced on my body. Tell her you love her and kiss my name on her forehead. I will not beg you to remember me ten years from now. My name doesn’t need begging to be remembered. And you told yourself that I was an adventure you would like to explore. And once you got inside you got lost in the forest of my mind. You didn’t know how to fight the tigers and the lions so they ate you alive. And then you begged me for an apology cause I didn’t tamed them. But I thought you were brave enough. Anyways, you continued exploring me. You found the garden of my mind that is made of red roses and diamonds. And you were so damn happy cause even though you’ve been eaten by the tigers and lions and spit out again; you found something beautiful about me. But no, you stepped on the snakes and the venom got to your heart. You cried and cursed me.‘’ She is too toxic for me to handle’’ You made a fire inside my mind like the Natives so the black smoke would bring someone’s attention and save you. That’s when she came and saved you from me. Took you away from me.

- N xx

Should you give your ex a second chance?

Whether you’re reconnecting with a great love or a flame that fizzled, reviving a past relationship can be the best thing ever—or a massive mistake. While it’s of course impossible to predict the future and know if settling down for a second time is 100% the right move, there are ways to make a more informed decision. Step one? Ask yourself the questions below.

Are you sure you’re not making the same mistake twice?

Think with your heart, but seal the deal with your brain. Hone in on the reason why you two split in the first place to see if it’s truly something you believe you can work past. Situational breakups caused by factors like timing, distance, or parental disapproval can allow for a happy, successful relationship to re-blossom once said factors are taken out of the mix. But if you two broke up for other reasons—cheating, anger issues, general not meshing—it can be way trickier. Is it possible to overcome these problems? Sure, but you gotta work at! Which brings us to…

Are you able to ditch the baggage?

If things ended messily, it’s safe to assume that one of you still holds some sort of grudge. (Hey, you’re only human!) In order to successfully give your union a second go, you have to make sure you’re able to leave your previous relationship failings at the door—or at least have a healthy dialogue about how you plan to avoid them this time around. The problems that caused the split in the first place could flare up once again, so this kind of open discussion (or the decision to let bygones be bygones) is key. After all, you’re trying to start fresh: Having to apologize for the same mistakes over and over again will sabotage any chance you two have to make it work.

Are you doing this for the right reasons?

Past issues aside, you need to do a deep dive into why you want this person back in your life. Conquering heartbreak is a miraculous feat, and falling back into the same relationship (and hurt and pain) because your admittedly no-good ex wants you back or because you think it will make your friend group cohesive again is probably not the best choice! Take into account what’s best for you, now and in the future, and establish a solid argument for why your relationship deserves another chance.

Are you so happy you can’t stand it?

Over the moon with bliss? Finally realize what you were missing? Those hand-drawn hearts all over your notebook are probably a good sign you’re making the right decision. But as excited as you are, remember to be patient. You can’t pick up exactly where you left off, so acknowledge that you’ll have to backtrack a bit before stepping into the full swing of things. Bask in the sort-of-new relationship glow, and take comfort in knowing you made the decision that’s right for you.

- N xx